Meeting Recap October 23, 2015 - Celebrating Good Communications in Relationship


I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. - Quote Evelyn Beatrice Hall
Be sincere; be brief; be seated. - Quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt
Brevity is the soul of wit. - Quote by William Shakespeare

Running up in her pink tracksuit, Connie declared, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" She called four different women to share her story of the sky falling and hitting her on her head. Each women responded differently. One seemed distracted and cold. Another responded with great exuberance. Another still seemed shy and distance and the fourth, friendly, yet unconvinced. 

The sky if falling as communicated to an analytical listener.

This skit opened Connie's talk on communication. Adults have about a 17 second attention span, teens 10 seconds and we all estimated preschoolers at about 7-10 seconds. Since you only have a short window of time before people's minds start to wander it is vital to have effective communication skills. A good place to start is understanding the parts of communication.

Communication is made up of three parts.

  1. Communication Styles
  2. Parts of Conversation (verbal & nonverbal)
  3. Listening
Connie continued her talk by elaborating on each of these.

Communication Styles

We all perceive the world differently. Thus, we tend to communicate differently. We each have a communication style that tends to dominate our interactions. Below are the four primary styles.

  1. Friendly, Unassuming Style
    Tends to agree with those they are communicating with. Could mistakenly be thought of as a doormat. 
  2. Thoughtful, Analytical Style
    Often talks of facts. Analyzes a situation. Can come across as anti-social, critical or cold. 
  3. Quiet, Reserved Style
    Tends to come across as shy. Might be slow to speak up and use a quiet tone. 
  4. Direct, Outspoken Style
    Often speaks loudly and with authority. Could mistakenly be thought of as bossy. 
When communicating with others, it is important to not only recognize our own dominate style, but the primary style of those around us. This will help reduce miscommunications based on difference of styles. 

The tones of "Oh."

Parts of Conversation

There are three parts to any conversation you have.
  1. Words
    Your actual words make up 7% of the conversation. To maximize the impact of your words, follow these two tips.
    1. Keep it short.
    2. Keep it simple.
  2. Tone
    Tone, the inflections you use to associate meaning and emotions to words, make up 38% of the conversation. Connie illustrated tone by having a volunteer utter the simple word "Oh" in a variety of emotions such as shock, excitement, sadness. One small word. So many feelings.
  3. Body Language Your body language makes of the 55% of the conversation. This includes things like leaning towards or away from the speaker, crossing arms, facial expressions, etc. 
Four sided holiday blocks for craft. 

Listening

Another statistic Connie shared is that 30% of a conversation is made up of talking and 70% is made up of listening. Thus, successful communication can only occur when we use good listening skills. Connie shared some tips on being a better listener.
  • Focus on what they are actually saying, not what you think they are saying.
  • Don't think about your response while the other person is talking.
  • Use small nonverbal gestures and eye contact to communication that you actively listening.
  • Don't interrupt or finish the other person's sentences.
  • When the other person is finished, use your own words to summarize or repeat back key points.
  • Again, when the other person is finished, ask questions to clarify what they are trying to say. 

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